A Lifetime

Man I am just floored right now by The Wedding and everything that they are. What a beautiful thing. What is more beautiful? The making of one between two of God's most precious creations. The whole day, the magic, the happiness. Nothing sweeter. I am glad that they at least still retain some substance, are not just a wasted day, treated carelessly. Our culture is a ruthless killer, I hate what it has done to so many things.

I can't help being completely terrified at the same time though, and I am sure I am not alone. What a scary thing, committing yourself to one person FOREVER. I mean I have a hard time committing to things even weeks away. Forever? How do I know they are the "right" person? What if we change? What if there is someone "better" for me? No wonder the divorce rate is so high. The wedding is so beautiful, and then made so ugly when people treat it only as a day. It is more than a day. It is a lifetime. 

But in the end, really I can't wait for the day. It used to be for all the good stuff that the day is. But now, I mainly can't wait to get to that day because once that day comes, that pretty much means I will finally be that committed and learned what the real definition of love is. 

"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,  does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,  does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Ok, maybe i won't really know how to love yet, but why do you think He decided a lifetime?

The ________ Family.

I love to people watch sometimes. Especially when the people make my heart ache, or make me smile. Like this family i have seen twice now at corner bakery. They sat in the same place as well as i, for the second time now. I wonder if they recognize me. I do them. When i saw them sit down, i almost had that feeling you get when you see an old friend, or family member you haven't seen for a while. They love each other so much. You can just tell. I love to watch the dad just sit there all content after his meal, while the mom and daughter enjoy conversation together. The daughter loves her parents so much, you can just see it in her face, how happy she is to be there with them. Sometimes i listen to their conversations (whoops) but for the most part i serenade myself with great music while i glance at their faces every once in a while. Sometimes a face can speak louder than any amount of words ever could.

I'm dreaming of a white, christmas

So I walked outside to warm up and pat the dog, and I noticed it was starting to snow!

Well it looked like it was. Then I remembered people are fighting for their homes against an evil beast of roaring flames.

I was amazed at some of the ashes. If you look you can actually see the veins of the leaf. Then it made me think, it isn't just some ash, it was an actual leaf, who knows, maybe even from some ones backyard. Little things, like a leaf floating hundreds of miles to my backyard, can amaze me. I hate how my heart can be so numb. I mean just look at the title i started with. I was going to take it down, but i'll leave it anyways. Something destroying peoples lives reminding me of a time of joy? Kind of disgusting, the reality hasn't sunk in. 

David Jayne, of the Big Bear Lake Fire Dept., fights a wildfire as a house burns on a hillside in Running Springs. (Marcio Jose Sanchez / Associated Press)

Still Hasn't.

CM's. I dont like drinking them but they are my favorite to make.

I totally feel how Jesus feels when choosing disciples, and in my case artists and the like. I saw a guy drawing at starbucks the other day, and noticed he was pretty dang good. So i approached him, complimented his work and asked a little about it. He explained some, showed some, we exchanged info, and introduced ourselves (ya supposed to be done first, we pulled an upside down macchiato. man what is starbucks doing to me!?) and then said good day. 

And what i was thinking the whollllllle time was, he is amazing and such a cool humble guy, that may not even know how good he is. I can't describe it as well as i would like but there is some pure joy in "running"(coincidence?) into these people, and having the opportunity to work with them and be blessed by their amazing gifts.

Tyler, you know you're not alone.....

I know. But i am

Serious Mumble Jumble

I finally feel ready.

that doesn't even communicate it well

I FINALLY FEEL READY

UHHH MAN. i finally feel like i am taking ownership.

I have been in the "dumps" for a long while (backlsliding, dark night of the soul etc. you get it). In plain words i have been living a really selfish life. And i think there are seasons in ones life that it is ok. But it has been too long. I don't even know when or how it is happening but i am just ready. Probably has some to do with my last blog. 

I just spent 20 minutes or so trying to find a sweet quote to put here about making a difference in the world, and BEING the hands and feet of Christ, etc. ect.

No such luck, so do your part and imagine with me, and try to feel where im coming from.

THE REAL SEANJON

So i just sent Jon Foreman a message through myspace. Man i am trying so hard not to get my hopes up, but what can i say, I love the guy. He has been a huge role model and inspiration, and to have coffee with him or something would be the most amazing thing in the world.

I asked him if he would want to sometime. haha. who am i kidding?

uhhhhh here we go. I'll be checking my myspace every 30 min. for the next week now.......

EVE FOR ADAM AND ADAM FOR EVE

I just tried to write this fancy wordy post about relationship with people and "soul mates" and mothers. 

But I am just going to leave it to Amos Lee:

I am at ease in the arms of a woman
although now most of my days are spent alone
a thousand miles from the place I was born
But when she wakes me she takes me back home

Now most days I spend like a child
who’s afraid of ghosts in the night
I know there ain’t nothing out there
I’m still afraid to turn on the light

I am at ease in the arms of a woman
although now most of my days are spent alone
a thousand miles from the place I was born
but when she wakes me she takes me back home

A thousand miles from the place I was born
But when she wakes me she takes me back home

I am at ease in the arms of a woman
although now most of my days are spent alone
a thousand miles from the place I was born
when she wakes me she takes me
Yeah, when she wake me she takes me
Yeah, when she wake me she takes me back home

When she wake me she takes me back home

RED LETTERS HAVE POWER

3 months ago i really would not believe or feel what i do now. Daily it was a struggle and a fight. Every morning i would wake up and question, get pissed, be frustrated as i tried to read and be inspired or be changed. Weeks go by, a couple months go by and still daily i expect and receive nothing, but i still daily force myself to read the dang thing.
Not until recently, until this very moment, have i realized how much reading God's word has had an effect on me. I know, it sounds cliche, trust me, i know "cliche-ness" first hand. I have been there, matter of fact for a long time.
But i just can not deny the reality.
I mean i am amazed myself. I am actually being changed. I FEEL IT. I see it.
It isn't anything crazy mind you. Heck most anybody probably can't even tell. But there is hope. My time no longer feels wasted. I now know that there is actually LIFE in the book Christ has blessed us with.
LIFE i tell you.
LIFE